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14 January 2009 @ 04:47 pm
for the first time in 4 years ..I'm unemployed.

I've had a steady job since 17, I mean the first oppurtunity for independence came I jumped directly at it..I just wanted my independence from my house, my family, i needed it I kept telling myself. I need the money to save..

but its been 4 years and all I've been able to save is my inheritance my grandma left me..I'm broke as fuck and now I'm wondering..what the hell happened to me?

I literally lived in this blur..i was imagining that I'd meet a guy who'd somehow relinquish me and somehow make me grow mentally and would travel with me but I never met him and I don't think I ever will. I am so shallow and selfish, but I'll never change I deserve nothing less than the best.

At least not here,
I've been given the opportunity by my aunt to visit North Carolina this year, prepaid flight and course I'll be staying with her and I think I'm going to go during spring break instead of summer. I need a taste of the outside.

along with the fact I've been working nonstop..I never learned how to drive so the past few months I've been on and off trying to drive and I'm getting good. I'm terrible at turns and stopping and I need to seriously get good at that ..those are like the main components of driving.

My last job wants me back and i think they kinda do need me back..I feel guilty for leaving but i can't jump back..that'd be selfish and impatient too. There is a reason why my position at Kensington Park Elem got frozen and I got fucked over. I mean I had everything done, information, signed all papers, something has lead to this moment that I really must take this oppotunity to expirience life without the obligation of working and helping others ..and start working and helping myself. I'll be graduating this semester, no funny business I was meant to graduate 2 semesters ago and i held myself back.

I feel at peace letting this out.
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
lovinghume on January 19th, 2009 10:36 am (UTC)
Awww cheer up Yonnie :) Things will get better for you <3!

Ysincarnate on January 19th, 2009 06:44 pm (UTC)

I know they will, unemployment ain't so bad actually :)